The Justice League
by Clint Hosman on March 16th, 2008
A few years ago while I was traveling in Italy I was inspired to create what I began calling “The Justice League.” As I was underneath the Vatican looking at all the dead Popes there where some younger people in line who kept talking. Any time this would happen some old shriveled Italian lady would give them the look of death and shush them loudly so everyone around could hear. When the disrespect continued more of the old women would join in and they would start pointing out the offenders to each other so soon there would be a multitude of old women shaming these people into being quite.This struck me because here in America we tend to try to block offending people out and hope they get the point. In Italy however I began to see that if someone broke the norm in traffic they where honked at unmercifully until they speed up, got out of the way or just generally stopped being an impediment to society in general.
I brought this idea of public shaming home with me and as I brought others into the Justice League we took it upon ourselves to shame people into doing what is right. Obnoxious kids in the movies, they get yelled at, people who double park are publicly yelled at and line cutters are exposed and shamed into getting to the back of the line. On the trail guys coming downhill who don’t yield the right of way to those going up get rocks thrown at them, people dumping Power Bar wrappers along the way get beat with mini pumps and the ever shameful back tire dragger, well lets just say what happens to those guys cant be written in a public blog.
The redemption of the bike from the hands of some misfit crack head was going to be the crowning achievement for the Justice League. So armed with a sense of justice my compatriots and I struck out as quickly as possible. We had the truck, the cable cutters and varies other self-defense items to insure that if confrontation did happen we where prepared for it. It didn’t take long for us to get back as the gas station is only 3 or 4 miles from the house.
Myself and another member of the Justice League where in the back and ready to go as we pulled into the station and screeched to a halt in front of the tree where our hostage was parked. It was gone though. The person’s tweaker senses must have alerted him to our approach because I had only been gone for 15 minutes. The let down was great. I wanted to repatriate this bike into a loving home where it would be shredded through single track for years to come but it wasn’t to be this time but it wasn’t meant to be.
The Justice League and I drove around the surrounding area for a while hoping to see but to no avail. Every night afterwards I have rode my bike by there on my training rides hoping to see it again, no such luck though. I figure it’s the No Country for Old Men ending; evil lives on and can’t be stopped. As much as I try to inflict justice on the rest of the world douche bags are always going to outnumber me.
March 17th, 2008 at 5:28 am
Bummer man! I really wanted a happy ending here. Great reference to ‘Old Country…’, I had the same feeling when finishing that book as I have right now…”What! You’ve got to be kidding me!”
March 17th, 2008 at 9:36 am
WOW, what a bummer. For all you know that crack head probably rode right past you as you and you r league of Justice fighters as you were driving out to get the bike…. like a movie. evil passing good in the night and never seeing each.
March 18th, 2008 at 9:19 pm
that sucks… the bike is probably spray painted a new color now!